When my husband and I thought we were ready to have a baby, it was a really exciting time. I would envision what the nursery would look like, what crafty little things I would attempt to make for the baby, and of course, names. Thankfully my husband is the practical one and told me, "we'll have 9 whole months to think of a name; let's just wait until you're pregnant before talking about that." That made pretty decent sense to me so we didn't talk about it. I can see now, that in itself was a blessing, because if we would have talked about it or looked names up, things may be harder at this point.
Another thing I did in the beginning was read books...lots of pregnancy books. Mainly how to keep myself healthy, what to eat, and those things. So I started to eat better and drink less frappuccinos (that was hard). But after several months of trying for a baby and nothing, I started to think more about my priorities. For the 4 or so months prior I realized my priority had suddenly become having a baby. I wasn't focused on anything else, including God. I realized I needed to step back and refocus my attention on what's more important and really the only thing in life I should be focused on. It's funny how God works. I can worry and worry about things, and my life just seems to get more and more tangled up. But as soon as I stop and make sure God is my #1 priority, everything works out. Isn't that so cool? God works it all out; He always does and always will.
So I stopped reading the pregnancy books. My life is pretty busy with all sorts of schedules and projects (which I do to myself I know), so getting to read is a rarity. So when I did have time to read, pregnancy books were it. So now that I wasn't consuming my time with those, I had made time to read my Bible. It was truly amazing. I can't honestly remember what specific passages I read, but I do remember how much peace I instantly felt. I wasn't as stressed at work and the best part was that I wasn't consumed by this idea that I wasn't getting pregnant as quickly as I had hoped. It's difficult to explain, but having my thoughts engulfed by one single thought is exhausting. I gave it all to God when I started reading my Bible on a more regular basis. I didn't want to have to think about having a baby anymore; I finally realized I just wanted God to do what He does better than me - plan my life instead of me trying to worry about it all the time. And the only way I could let Him do that was to get Him back into my top priority.
I think I sometimes try to look to other sources (i.e. friends, spouse, books, etc.) to find the answers to today's problems, no matter the problem, instead of looking to my true source. If I can just learn to make and keep God #1 in my life, He will take care of me.
Matthew 6:25-27, 33
"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? ... But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
