Well unfortunately it's official; I have what's called Premature Ovarian Failure (POF), or what my doctor likes to call Primary Ovarian Insufficiency (because it just sounds better). Either way it's not the best news for a girl who wants to get pregnant. I've been to my specialist's office three times and two times he has told me what he thought I had. I didn't want to write it out or research it because in the back of my mind I thought "well he could be wrong". So a couple of weeks ago they ran the necessary tests to confirm his theory and a couple of days ago the results came back. My body is creating antibodies which are fighting off my ovaries. Because my ovaries are failing, they are not producing effective eggs or the proper levels of estrogen. Because I don't produce effective eggs, my infertility meter just shot through the roof. One glimmer of hope...about 6-8% of women with POF can still become pregnant so I'm really clinging onto that tiny positive detail at this point and praying I'm in that 6-8%.
POF is pretty rare, but for women to have it under the age of 30 (me), it's really rare. I'm only 1 in 1000. It's crazy because my doctor told me that he was at an infertility conference several weeks ago and was talking to another specialist there about my case. I didn't even realize I had a case. The tests they ran on me are also rare. He told me to come back the next day so they could research exactly how to run the tests as they only order them once or twice a year.
Naturally one of our first questions to the doctor was how to fix it. Here's where the bad news comes in. Based on the research I have done and what my doctor has told me, POF can't be "fixed". There are a couple of options I have, though.
1. In Vitro Fertilization using an egg donor
2. Experimental hormone therapy
3. Adoption
In vitro fertilization with an egg donor throws me for a loop. When he first said this as an option my mouth dropped, "so I can't have my own baby?" "No" was his answer. Talk about a reality check. I thought all along my ovaries just weren't releasing my eggs, but actually they aren't even producing eggs or at least good eggs to even release. So with this treatment option they would fertilize the eggs from another woman with my husband's sperm. Does this sound weird to anyone else? We still need to obviously research and weigh our options on this, but it's really expensive, has only about a 50-60% success rate, and they aren't my eggs. This reminds me of Abraham and Sarah in the Bible. Sarah also couldn't have a baby for her husband so allowed him to sleep with another woman in order to give him a son. That worked, but God didn't exactly bless that decision. Not saying this is the same, but a lot still to think about.
The other specialist at this infertility conference my doctor was talking to about me has done a study in Spain with 50 young women who have POF. From what I've read, they all have what seems to be the same symptoms and tests results as me. He gave 25 of the women estrogen to increase ovulation and to lower their FSH level (remember mine is 44 and it should be 10 or lower). These women's FSH levels did decrease and ovulation did increase compared to the 25 women that were given the placebo. Also, out of these 25 women that received estrogen, 4 women did get pregnant. My doctor hasn't ever done this type of treatment for this diagnosis, though. So again, a lot to still think about.
And of course adoption. I haven't researched it at all yet, but know that it's a very real possibility. I really want a baby and I really want to be a mom; I don't think I'm opposed at this point how I get there. So...a lot to still think about.
I do still believe, though, that God has a plan and God can perform miracles. All babies are miracles, but it seems that in my case, that's the only way I'm getting a baby. But you know what? Receiving the greatest gift of a child as a miracle through God sounds pretty amazing to me.
