As I read some of my blog posts I realize that I am being pretty selfish actually. I keep reading "I...I...I...me...me...me....how will I be affected...how does this make me feel." I have to understand and realize that this is probably affecting other people as well. I must try to look at this through different perspectives, through the perspectives of others.
God is huge and super clever so when He does something, He doesn't just fix the problem for one person, but the solution seems to involve multiple people and everyone is blessed. I couldn't possibly begin to understand how this situation is affecting other people or who else God is thinking of within the situation, but I do know His solution will be woven between many.
My husband and I decided when we got married, we wanted to be married for a few years before we had children. So we decided after we got married when we were going to start to try for a baby. First mistake...plan around God and not through God. My husband has always wanted kids, but I don't think as deeply as I did. When we started trying, I honestly don't know if he was really ready. I mean he agreed to my "perfectly" timed plan, but I don't know if he was totally ready to be a dad. Now I can see the way he looks at children and the way he talks about having children, and there is a significant difference. Through this I can see that God has been working on my husband's heart. So maybe I would have been ready this whole time and God thought it would have been fine for me to have a child sooner, but my husband wasn't ready and God needed to work on his heart first. I'm thankful for this and again, glad God is in control and not me.
Also, what about the unborn baby? There have always been struggles and issues throughout time, and maybe its just as I get older, but it seems that there are some really crazy, scary things happening in the world. God may not want me to bring a child into this world at this time. I have to remember that God can see the whole picture. I can only see two pieces - what is happening to me right now and what has happened to me in the past. God can see many other pieces - what I can see, but also what is happening tomorrow, what is happening years from now, how people will be affected, how He will be glorified, and on and on. He is so detailed and intricate, but also larger than anything I can imagine. He's pretty much awesome. So...maybe God wants me to wait until a better time for the baby; when the baby will have a better life that will have an impact for Him.
Or...what about a child already in this world that doesn't have a home? If we were to have our own baby, a child may go without a home because he or she is supposed to be with my husband and me. We can offer a good home and love to a child that may not otherwise receive those things. This is why, honestly, I am so thankful I am not in control. When the end result comes, I know I will look back on all this and just praise His name because we will all be blessed. And I probably won't even fully get it until I get to Heaven.
And only God knows who else this situation may be affecting. Maybe I am able to go off and do more mission trips without a child, or maybe my husband is able to help more people. I have to remember that ultimately everything we do has to glorify God. That is our purpose in life; to glorify God by blessing others and bringing others to Christ. So if having a child fits into that purpose, bring it on. If not, I pray God gives me the strength to accept that.
So as I'm going through all of this, I must look at the situation from the perspectives of others. God does have a plan, and not just for me.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Premature Ovarian Failure
Well unfortunately it's official; I have what's called Premature Ovarian Failure (POF), or what my doctor likes to call Primary Ovarian Insufficiency (because it just sounds better). Either way it's not the best news for a girl who wants to get pregnant. I've been to my specialist's office three times and two times he has told me what he thought I had. I didn't want to write it out or research it because in the back of my mind I thought "well he could be wrong". So a couple of weeks ago they ran the necessary tests to confirm his theory and a couple of days ago the results came back. My body is creating antibodies which are fighting off my ovaries. Because my ovaries are failing, they are not producing effective eggs or the proper levels of estrogen. Because I don't produce effective eggs, my infertility meter just shot through the roof. One glimmer of hope...about 6-8% of women with POF can still become pregnant so I'm really clinging onto that tiny positive detail at this point and praying I'm in that 6-8%.
POF is pretty rare, but for women to have it under the age of 30 (me), it's really rare. I'm only 1 in 1000. It's crazy because my doctor told me that he was at an infertility conference several weeks ago and was talking to another specialist there about my case. I didn't even realize I had a case. The tests they ran on me are also rare. He told me to come back the next day so they could research exactly how to run the tests as they only order them once or twice a year.
Naturally one of our first questions to the doctor was how to fix it. Here's where the bad news comes in. Based on the research I have done and what my doctor has told me, POF can't be "fixed". There are a couple of options I have, though.
1. In Vitro Fertilization using an egg donor
2. Experimental hormone therapy
3. Adoption
In vitro fertilization with an egg donor throws me for a loop. When he first said this as an option my mouth dropped, "so I can't have my own baby?" "No" was his answer. Talk about a reality check. I thought all along my ovaries just weren't releasing my eggs, but actually they aren't even producing eggs or at least good eggs to even release. So with this treatment option they would fertilize the eggs from another woman with my husband's sperm. Does this sound weird to anyone else? We still need to obviously research and weigh our options on this, but it's really expensive, has only about a 50-60% success rate, and they aren't my eggs. This reminds me of Abraham and Sarah in the Bible. Sarah also couldn't have a baby for her husband so allowed him to sleep with another woman in order to give him a son. That worked, but God didn't exactly bless that decision. Not saying this is the same, but a lot still to think about.
The other specialist at this infertility conference my doctor was talking to about me has done a study in Spain with 50 young women who have POF. From what I've read, they all have what seems to be the same symptoms and tests results as me. He gave 25 of the women estrogen to increase ovulation and to lower their FSH level (remember mine is 44 and it should be 10 or lower). These women's FSH levels did decrease and ovulation did increase compared to the 25 women that were given the placebo. Also, out of these 25 women that received estrogen, 4 women did get pregnant. My doctor hasn't ever done this type of treatment for this diagnosis, though. So again, a lot to still think about.
And of course adoption. I haven't researched it at all yet, but know that it's a very real possibility. I really want a baby and I really want to be a mom; I don't think I'm opposed at this point how I get there. So...a lot to still think about.
I do still believe, though, that God has a plan and God can perform miracles. All babies are miracles, but it seems that in my case, that's the only way I'm getting a baby. But you know what? Receiving the greatest gift of a child as a miracle through God sounds pretty amazing to me.
POF is pretty rare, but for women to have it under the age of 30 (me), it's really rare. I'm only 1 in 1000. It's crazy because my doctor told me that he was at an infertility conference several weeks ago and was talking to another specialist there about my case. I didn't even realize I had a case. The tests they ran on me are also rare. He told me to come back the next day so they could research exactly how to run the tests as they only order them once or twice a year.
Naturally one of our first questions to the doctor was how to fix it. Here's where the bad news comes in. Based on the research I have done and what my doctor has told me, POF can't be "fixed". There are a couple of options I have, though.
1. In Vitro Fertilization using an egg donor
2. Experimental hormone therapy
3. Adoption
In vitro fertilization with an egg donor throws me for a loop. When he first said this as an option my mouth dropped, "so I can't have my own baby?" "No" was his answer. Talk about a reality check. I thought all along my ovaries just weren't releasing my eggs, but actually they aren't even producing eggs or at least good eggs to even release. So with this treatment option they would fertilize the eggs from another woman with my husband's sperm. Does this sound weird to anyone else? We still need to obviously research and weigh our options on this, but it's really expensive, has only about a 50-60% success rate, and they aren't my eggs. This reminds me of Abraham and Sarah in the Bible. Sarah also couldn't have a baby for her husband so allowed him to sleep with another woman in order to give him a son. That worked, but God didn't exactly bless that decision. Not saying this is the same, but a lot still to think about.
The other specialist at this infertility conference my doctor was talking to about me has done a study in Spain with 50 young women who have POF. From what I've read, they all have what seems to be the same symptoms and tests results as me. He gave 25 of the women estrogen to increase ovulation and to lower their FSH level (remember mine is 44 and it should be 10 or lower). These women's FSH levels did decrease and ovulation did increase compared to the 25 women that were given the placebo. Also, out of these 25 women that received estrogen, 4 women did get pregnant. My doctor hasn't ever done this type of treatment for this diagnosis, though. So again, a lot to still think about.
And of course adoption. I haven't researched it at all yet, but know that it's a very real possibility. I really want a baby and I really want to be a mom; I don't think I'm opposed at this point how I get there. So...a lot to still think about.
I do still believe, though, that God has a plan and God can perform miracles. All babies are miracles, but it seems that in my case, that's the only way I'm getting a baby. But you know what? Receiving the greatest gift of a child as a miracle through God sounds pretty amazing to me.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Source of True Satisfaction
I've already mentioned how great my husband is, but he is seriously a dream husband (hopefully nobody vomits as I say that). He is super handy, he is great with money, and I trust him 100% in everything. He basically can do everything I can't do and more, and I depend on him a lot (probably too much sometimes). God has blessed him with many talents. I don't think I have nearly as many as he does, but I do feel like God has given me the talent (I guess that's what you'd call it) of being good with kids. I've heard that from several people and do often think it's true. I can somehow connect with kids which gives me their respect and I genuinely love seeing their little smiles and how proud they get when they learn something. I have a huge sense of satisfaction when I can be around children and I just want that everyday; I just want to be a mom.
I was in church this morning and Dennis Jernigan came (awesome by the way), and we all sang his song Who Can Satisfy My Soul. Between the singing and the music and the emotion in the church, I was hit by what felt like a ton of bricks. I don't need a child to satisfy my soul, because Jesus is the only real source of true satisfaction. Today I realized that life on Earth is a tiny little speck on the timeline of eternity and yes, I really want children while I'm on this Earth, but if I don't, it will be okay. My stomach still drops as I write those words, but the lesson is slowly sinking in.
We have a really great preacher where I go to church, and a few weeks ago he did a sermon on the fact that Jesus is and should be enough in our lives. He had four main points:
1. You can give more when Jesus is enough
2. You can go without when Jesus is enough
3. You can live with gratitude with Jesus is enough
4. You can learn and grow a lot when Jesus is enough
The point that really stands out to me is the second one: you can go without when Jesus is enough. It will be okay if I don't have children because Jesus is so big and so powerful that He is more than enough to offer me satisfaction. So even though I feel this incredible desire to have children and even though I feel God has given me talents to be a great mom, I don't have to have children or be a mom to be satisfied. Jesus is enough. It's not easy, even though it should be, and I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't suck that I can't just have a "normal" little life and have kids now cause that's what I had planned, but it will be okay because only Jesus satisfies my soul and He is enough.
I was in church this morning and Dennis Jernigan came (awesome by the way), and we all sang his song Who Can Satisfy My Soul. Between the singing and the music and the emotion in the church, I was hit by what felt like a ton of bricks. I don't need a child to satisfy my soul, because Jesus is the only real source of true satisfaction. Today I realized that life on Earth is a tiny little speck on the timeline of eternity and yes, I really want children while I'm on this Earth, but if I don't, it will be okay. My stomach still drops as I write those words, but the lesson is slowly sinking in.
We have a really great preacher where I go to church, and a few weeks ago he did a sermon on the fact that Jesus is and should be enough in our lives. He had four main points:
1. You can give more when Jesus is enough
2. You can go without when Jesus is enough
3. You can live with gratitude with Jesus is enough
4. You can learn and grow a lot when Jesus is enough
The point that really stands out to me is the second one: you can go without when Jesus is enough. It will be okay if I don't have children because Jesus is so big and so powerful that He is more than enough to offer me satisfaction. So even though I feel this incredible desire to have children and even though I feel God has given me talents to be a great mom, I don't have to have children or be a mom to be satisfied. Jesus is enough. It's not easy, even though it should be, and I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't suck that I can't just have a "normal" little life and have kids now cause that's what I had planned, but it will be okay because only Jesus satisfies my soul and He is enough.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
God is so creative when choosing what and who will teach me a lesson. I'm currently helping teach Vacation Bible School to 2nd graders, and our memory verse during the first night (the same night I was in charge of the lesson by the way) was Psalm 139:14 -
"I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well."
This really got me to thinking. The world says my ovaries don't work right, which is true I guess for getting pregnant and having a baby of my own. But I have to remember that I been fearfully and wonderfully made by God so actually they work just the way God intended in order for me to live out the purpose He has planned. Again, I don't know what that plan is, but I'm looking forward to finding out.
Someone I know recently told me that he and his wife couldn't have a baby either. Their doctor even told them flat out "you will never get pregnant" and even questioned why they were still trying. Eventually they left that doctor and several years later did miraculously get pregnant. When they went in for delivery, their current doctor was away, so guess who delivered their baby (the baby that couldn't be)? Yep, their previous doctor that said she would never be pregnant! That was not a coincidence. That was definitely God wanting to show that doctor that He can create something out of nothing. So her body didn't work just right either to have a baby, but God made her that way so she could be an instrument in God's work in showing that doctor that He does exist and can still preform miracles.
There's a great song out right now called More Beautiful You by Johnny Diaz that I really like. Part of the chorus says,
"You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you."
So even though my ovaries may not work "right", they do work perfectly for the plan God has in store for me because I have been fearfully and wonderfully made.
"I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well."
This really got me to thinking. The world says my ovaries don't work right, which is true I guess for getting pregnant and having a baby of my own. But I have to remember that I been fearfully and wonderfully made by God so actually they work just the way God intended in order for me to live out the purpose He has planned. Again, I don't know what that plan is, but I'm looking forward to finding out.
Someone I know recently told me that he and his wife couldn't have a baby either. Their doctor even told them flat out "you will never get pregnant" and even questioned why they were still trying. Eventually they left that doctor and several years later did miraculously get pregnant. When they went in for delivery, their current doctor was away, so guess who delivered their baby (the baby that couldn't be)? Yep, their previous doctor that said she would never be pregnant! That was not a coincidence. That was definitely God wanting to show that doctor that He can create something out of nothing. So her body didn't work just right either to have a baby, but God made her that way so she could be an instrument in God's work in showing that doctor that He does exist and can still preform miracles.
There's a great song out right now called More Beautiful You by Johnny Diaz that I really like. Part of the chorus says,
"You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you."
So even though my ovaries may not work "right", they do work perfectly for the plan God has in store for me because I have been fearfully and wonderfully made.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Making God #1
When my husband and I thought we were ready to have a baby, it was a really exciting time. I would envision what the nursery would look like, what crafty little things I would attempt to make for the baby, and of course, names. Thankfully my husband is the practical one and told me, "we'll have 9 whole months to think of a name; let's just wait until you're pregnant before talking about that." That made pretty decent sense to me so we didn't talk about it. I can see now, that in itself was a blessing, because if we would have talked about it or looked names up, things may be harder at this point.
Another thing I did in the beginning was read books...lots of pregnancy books. Mainly how to keep myself healthy, what to eat, and those things. So I started to eat better and drink less frappuccinos (that was hard). But after several months of trying for a baby and nothing, I started to think more about my priorities. For the 4 or so months prior I realized my priority had suddenly become having a baby. I wasn't focused on anything else, including God. I realized I needed to step back and refocus my attention on what's more important and really the only thing in life I should be focused on. It's funny how God works. I can worry and worry about things, and my life just seems to get more and more tangled up. But as soon as I stop and make sure God is my #1 priority, everything works out. Isn't that so cool? God works it all out; He always does and always will.
So I stopped reading the pregnancy books. My life is pretty busy with all sorts of schedules and projects (which I do to myself I know), so getting to read is a rarity. So when I did have time to read, pregnancy books were it. So now that I wasn't consuming my time with those, I had made time to read my Bible. It was truly amazing. I can't honestly remember what specific passages I read, but I do remember how much peace I instantly felt. I wasn't as stressed at work and the best part was that I wasn't consumed by this idea that I wasn't getting pregnant as quickly as I had hoped. It's difficult to explain, but having my thoughts engulfed by one single thought is exhausting. I gave it all to God when I started reading my Bible on a more regular basis. I didn't want to have to think about having a baby anymore; I finally realized I just wanted God to do what He does better than me - plan my life instead of me trying to worry about it all the time. And the only way I could let Him do that was to get Him back into my top priority.
I think I sometimes try to look to other sources (i.e. friends, spouse, books, etc.) to find the answers to today's problems, no matter the problem, instead of looking to my true source. If I can just learn to make and keep God #1 in my life, He will take care of me.
Matthew 6:25-27, 33
"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? ... But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Another thing I did in the beginning was read books...lots of pregnancy books. Mainly how to keep myself healthy, what to eat, and those things. So I started to eat better and drink less frappuccinos (that was hard). But after several months of trying for a baby and nothing, I started to think more about my priorities. For the 4 or so months prior I realized my priority had suddenly become having a baby. I wasn't focused on anything else, including God. I realized I needed to step back and refocus my attention on what's more important and really the only thing in life I should be focused on. It's funny how God works. I can worry and worry about things, and my life just seems to get more and more tangled up. But as soon as I stop and make sure God is my #1 priority, everything works out. Isn't that so cool? God works it all out; He always does and always will.
So I stopped reading the pregnancy books. My life is pretty busy with all sorts of schedules and projects (which I do to myself I know), so getting to read is a rarity. So when I did have time to read, pregnancy books were it. So now that I wasn't consuming my time with those, I had made time to read my Bible. It was truly amazing. I can't honestly remember what specific passages I read, but I do remember how much peace I instantly felt. I wasn't as stressed at work and the best part was that I wasn't consumed by this idea that I wasn't getting pregnant as quickly as I had hoped. It's difficult to explain, but having my thoughts engulfed by one single thought is exhausting. I gave it all to God when I started reading my Bible on a more regular basis. I didn't want to have to think about having a baby anymore; I finally realized I just wanted God to do what He does better than me - plan my life instead of me trying to worry about it all the time. And the only way I could let Him do that was to get Him back into my top priority.
I think I sometimes try to look to other sources (i.e. friends, spouse, books, etc.) to find the answers to today's problems, no matter the problem, instead of looking to my true source. If I can just learn to make and keep God #1 in my life, He will take care of me.
Matthew 6:25-27, 33
"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? ... But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Desires of the Heart
One of my favorite verses is "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of the heart." found in Psalm 37:4. It's so fitting for this situation. I often hear women in this situation ask "Why would God put a desire in my heart to have a child, and then not allow me to have one?" I also want to ask this question, but I won't; I don't think it's my place to know why. We are little tiny beings who can't even begin to fathom what God is thinking or what His intentions are. Even if He told me why, I wouldn't get it.
I absolutely know that God does everything for a reason and that reason is to glorify God. With that said, I believe God did put a desire for children in my heart for a reason in order to glorify Him. I also know that God is so amazing that every minor or unnoticed detail is a perfectly planned detail in the big picture which will be fulfilled. With that said, God didn't just throw some random desire my way just because and then not have a plan to fulfill it. So to answer the "Why give me the desire and not fulfill it" question, I say that I KNOW God put this desire in me for a reason and I know God WILL fulfill it. I don't know when and I don't know how, but I am confident it will be done.
I also believe that we as humans, probably don't know our own desires as well as God knows them. I mean God knows how many hairs are in my head and I only know that I have a lot of them and they're all "blonde". If God knows that minor detail better than me, what makes me think I know such major details like my desires better than God knows them? Good question...I don't. God can see straight through my heart. So I feel the desire is there for me to have my own baby right now, but God knows my true desire. Why would I put God in a little box and ask Him to fulfill my immediate desire, when He is so much bigger than that and so capable of fulfilling His true desire He gave me that will also fulfill His plan which will glorify Him? I'd much prefer the latter.
I try to think about it as I did my dating life. I remember being in high-school and college being the drama queen I try to avoid. Crying after many break-ups, I would say the infamous lines every girl says at least once in her life, "I'm never going to get married" or "I'm never going to meet anybody." But, as it turns out, I did meet someone, and he is more perfect than anyone I could have picked out for myself. I love so many things about him, but his aspect that I love the most is just the feeling he gives me when I'm with him. I met him a month before I graduated college and moved back home. At the time I thought that was a horrible time to meet, but it was actually ideal because we were both able to experience so much that when we did meet, it was an obvious match. So I try to remember this when trying to have a baby. I can't have one now and maybe I'll never be able to, but when my true desire for a child is fulfilled, no matter how God fulfills it, he (or she or they) will be so much more perfect than I could have imagined and the timing couldn't be better.
I absolutely know that God does everything for a reason and that reason is to glorify God. With that said, I believe God did put a desire for children in my heart for a reason in order to glorify Him. I also know that God is so amazing that every minor or unnoticed detail is a perfectly planned detail in the big picture which will be fulfilled. With that said, God didn't just throw some random desire my way just because and then not have a plan to fulfill it. So to answer the "Why give me the desire and not fulfill it" question, I say that I KNOW God put this desire in me for a reason and I know God WILL fulfill it. I don't know when and I don't know how, but I am confident it will be done.
I also believe that we as humans, probably don't know our own desires as well as God knows them. I mean God knows how many hairs are in my head and I only know that I have a lot of them and they're all "blonde". If God knows that minor detail better than me, what makes me think I know such major details like my desires better than God knows them? Good question...I don't. God can see straight through my heart. So I feel the desire is there for me to have my own baby right now, but God knows my true desire. Why would I put God in a little box and ask Him to fulfill my immediate desire, when He is so much bigger than that and so capable of fulfilling His true desire He gave me that will also fulfill His plan which will glorify Him? I'd much prefer the latter.
I try to think about it as I did my dating life. I remember being in high-school and college being the drama queen I try to avoid. Crying after many break-ups, I would say the infamous lines every girl says at least once in her life, "I'm never going to get married" or "I'm never going to meet anybody." But, as it turns out, I did meet someone, and he is more perfect than anyone I could have picked out for myself. I love so many things about him, but his aspect that I love the most is just the feeling he gives me when I'm with him. I met him a month before I graduated college and moved back home. At the time I thought that was a horrible time to meet, but it was actually ideal because we were both able to experience so much that when we did meet, it was an obvious match. So I try to remember this when trying to have a baby. I can't have one now and maybe I'll never be able to, but when my true desire for a child is fulfilled, no matter how God fulfills it, he (or she or they) will be so much more perfect than I could have imagined and the timing couldn't be better.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Praise You in This Storm
So far there really have been only two times that I've been really upset about not getting pregnant. First when I found out the doctors were just going to do the same tests on me so I thought we weren't getting anywhere, and second when the specialist told me he thought I had Ovarian Inefficiency. During the first time, I remember just sobbing while I was taking a shower. I don't remember really thinking anything except saddness, no words. But then the only thing that popped in my mind was Casting Crowns' "Praise You in the Storm". The words are so powerful and so appropriate it was amazing. Again, God is so good at putting exactly what you need in your face at the perfect moment. I just stood in the shower, crying and singing that song to myself. I wasn't just singing the song, but I really made the whole song my prayer and spoke every word very diliberately.
Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms
I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.
Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
Chorus
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
Chorus
I think it's really easy for me to praise God and thank Him for all the marvalous things he does for me when I'm going through good times; it's harder to praise Him when I'm going through tough times. At that moment, I know God was teaching me to always be thankful and praise Him even in the tough times, cause He's so big and always the same God no matter what I'm going through.
Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms
I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.
Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
Chorus
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
Chorus
I think it's really easy for me to praise God and thank Him for all the marvalous things he does for me when I'm going through good times; it's harder to praise Him when I'm going through tough times. At that moment, I know God was teaching me to always be thankful and praise Him even in the tough times, cause He's so big and always the same God no matter what I'm going through.
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